No stitches, just platelets and will power
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
