I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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