I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
