Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I had to cum in my sink.
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