I smell stomach acid.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
