Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
