my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
