what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
