Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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