i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize