I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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