Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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