I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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