ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
