I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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