i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
