its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
