Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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