this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
