just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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