Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
