K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
