when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
