I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
