Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
