i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
