I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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