your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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