Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
