Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
