So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
