I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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