I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
