plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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