Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
