Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
