We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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