when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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