Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
