Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
3 2 1 whiskey
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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