blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
