What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
