if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize