i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize