After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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