please come you make the beer taste better
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
