Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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