I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All I want is dick and wine.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
