So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
