well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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