Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
