I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Randomize
