Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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