You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
