Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk

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(508): Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk http://tfl.nu/jmus

Replies (37) Good night (1676) Bad night (8939)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

those are such fre$h shoes

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign

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(508): those are such fre$h shoes (1-508): going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign http://tfl.nu/bk8p

Replies (29) Good night (1485) Bad night (3862)
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(561): View more from Florida

I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.

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(561): I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on. http://tfl.nu/csv9

Replies (14) Good night (5094) Bad night (856)
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(503): View more from Oregon

we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.

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(503): we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass. http://tfl.nu/xi9h

Replies (63) Good night (20972) Bad night (1380)
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(330): View more from Ohio

why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?

(1-330): View more from Ohio

she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.

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(330): why is there cat hair all over my deoderant? (1-330): she wanted to smell more freshershest than you. http://tfl.nu/rk6z

Replies (33) Good night (5960) Bad night (1779)
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(951): View more from California

His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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(951): His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format http://tfl.nu/g7e8

Replies (12) Good night (5825) Bad night (1063)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

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(612): She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me. http://tfl.nu/y2d7

Replies (5) Good night (1426) Bad night (2236)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.

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(317): Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street. http://tfl.nu/q42w

Replies (14) Good night (2662) Bad night (1306)
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(214): View more from Texas

The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become

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(214): The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become http://tfl.nu/8je0

Replies (6) Good night (3001) Bad night (1161)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.

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(614): Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie. http://tfl.nu/il2e

Replies (15) Good night (4128) Bad night (1580)
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(425): View more from Washington

Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began

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(425): Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began http://tfl.nu/trvz

Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (846)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.

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(812): I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together. http://tfl.nu/6uns

Replies (3) Good night (1178) Bad night (1014)
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(805): View more from California

I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.

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(805): I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible. http://tfl.nu/k9z2

Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (339)
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(714): View more from California

Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!

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(714): Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!! http://tfl.nu/8tee

Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (343)
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(302): View more from Delaware

He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him

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(302): He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him http://tfl.nu/krgi

Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (228)

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