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Me too!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
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