Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
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Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it