Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.