idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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