The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize