He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
